today is present~

feels like 1st year again

2012-01-23T16:37:00.002+11:00

cold summer & crashing Kimian Ave for a couple of weeks

(almost) total new environment

its not butterflies in the stomach anymore

its elephant stomping on my intestines

feels like you're ready to run

but worry the path is too slippery that you might fall and hurt yourself

gotta make it right! FOCUS & be careful

been waiting for this

just before winter

2011-06-12T10:50:00.002+10:00

i was under the almost botak tree,looked up and this is what i saw....

subhanallah!

death

2011-05-03T18:09:00.004+10:00

i have this thought in my head about death - ajal.

hoping that when it is the time for me to go and izra'il is ready to do his job, i'm ready too.......

in the meantime, lets get ourself ready just in case izra'il comes tomorrow.

trying to escape from doing homework

2011-03-20T11:46:00.004+11:00

almost half way through this semester and am not very sure about what I've done or learned so far. gp placement is still thousands miles away from finish. assignments are also on hold as it's based on cases I'll see in clinic. modules, weren't so bad.managed to catch up. and I'm very comfortable being with my tutorial mates.they are bunch of very nice people. and I'm less shy (haha what????) oh well it's great I guess that i can get along quite well with them. being me...that's quite an achievement because usually I don't give a damn crap about it. as long as I get my stuff done...very selfish hey? forgive me. in this semester, we're expected to be able to do sexuality counselling too thus we have sexuality tutorials and assignments (videos of me giving sexuality counselling to a patient with a sexuality problem).and the fun part is we'll be tested at the end of semester. had some role plays and I find it very helpful....and entertaining too.we tried to make it as interesting as possible so that it won't be too awkward but in real clinical setting, u can't afford to laugh or make mistakes coz you're dealing with real people with real sexual problems. ohh god not looking forward for that. anyways, just wonder if Malaysians would see a doctor for a inside-bedroom-issue. the thing with this all counseling issue is sometimes I don't know how to respond and what to say. and feels like acting instead of truely being empathy. someone said to me...learning to be doctor is almost like taking Acting 101 course. quite true. counselling is skill needed to be developed and with extra effort it will become more natural and effortless. don't be like this doctor in this video. my tutor showed this to us during tutorial because we discussed about being empathy. enjoy folks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE

8% of battery left. adios

the climb

2011-02-20T00:40:00.001+11:00

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

alhamdulillah

2010-12-13T00:17:00.002+11:00

alhamdulillah syukur ya Allah

countdown

2010-11-02T01:31:00.002+11:00

7 days to first paper of finals

15 days to last paper

16 days to Harry Potter's premiere

(about) 20 days to have lunch at michelle's

exactly 24 days to fly home.........can't wait!

p/s: semoga peperiksaan berjalan dgn jayanya....insyaAllah.

...

2010-10-27T21:26:00.000+11:00

i lose.

spring break and suicidal?

2010-09-24T15:30:00.003+10:00

we're moving on into psych but i still can't find my way through neuro. keep trying girl.

depression. suicidal. bipolar etc favourite words of the week. yayy how exciting! *sarcastically*

i'd like to share this. last wednesday afternoon, we had a lecture about suicidal prevention. find a person to share problems, see counsellor etc yada yada yada....and the doctor also showed us some figures and charts on number of suicide cases, comparing between man and woman, based on different range of age...yeah yeah and thats not the point that i wanted to share. don't remember the doctor's name, but he said, religion somehow related to number of suicide cases. he, with a hesitation, tried to give an example by saying "...in some Muslim countries, the suicide rate is so low...but i don't understand why is it so.." oh well, funny hey? i wish someone could have raised their hand and respond to the statement, or may be i should've raise my hand... but no one did, including me...and the lecture continued until 2pm.

know what, i find learning psych is bit depressing...maybe because as you go on and try to learn about emotions etc, you, somehow, sort of assessing yourself, whether or not you have symptoms and try to diagnose and relate yourself to whatever type of mental disorders that may exist in this world..... or maybe i'm the only one doing that. 100% sane, and guaranteed!

finally.....i've waited so long for this....HEY SPRING BREAK, treat me nicely,plsss!

escaped from reality (I)

2010-09-13T00:35:00.003+10:00

its 3rd Syawal and i'm struggling with my notes on seizures. its already week 8 and working problem 7 and almost 6 neuro prof skills in the hospital but we still hasn't got our holiday...........and the fact that its syawal now, we're all just shutting down, been trying to force myself and pulling my head and keep diving into neuro stuff...but that just seemed like mission impossible. ahhhhh enough complaining and whining la kau perempuan! baca buku je la, kecoh!

Ramadhan is gone,soooo fast that honestly i didn't realized it at all. it just came to me when we were busy serving food for the last big iftar at uni. probably because we've all been swallowed by the routine and classes and studies and iftar invitations and whatsoever. ohhhh may Allah gives me chance to go through another Ramadhan next year. insyaALLAH

while we're on the fasting topic, just wanted to share an interesting story. not really a story to be exact, but rather just a.....conversation that happened in front of my eyes in the anatomy lab. it was between one of my housemate and another girl from med. we're in the same tutorial group in 1st year, 1st semester. well, this is much shorter version. basically, uni's islamic soc invited our nonMuslim friends from meds to fast with us last week, just for a day. and it was for charity. we asked them to fast exactly like us, no food and water at all but they've been told to eat sahur. and everything went so well (Alhamdulillah no one pengsan etc). the very next day, me and this housemate met this ex-tutemate in the anat lab and my housemate asked her about the fasting. she said it went well except that she was very tired and dehydrated. but she's just amazed with the fact that we are able to fast for a month. she said i dont know how do you guys do it...it made me smile... a meaningful ones i guess...

anyway, to epah.....hey kak, what happened to your finger?? take care yeaaa. lets story mory when we meet okeyy? get well soonnnnnnn!

i'm now toooooo sleepy to finish this...and i'm not done with seizures....yayy

p/s: i'm an old lady...........

random...totally!

2010-08-02T23:34:00.002+10:00

for some reasons i dont know what,my lips are burning!! and itchy! and dry! need something to soothe it. vaseline...hope it works.

working problem 1,case closed. hyperthyrodism, wasn't very painful. ohh hmm actually it wasn't painful at all...yeah,alhamdulillah. Ann Burstal, i like you.

ohhh and had movie marathon. honey, did you hear about morgans? the time traveler's wife, iRobot, julie&julia, UP....awesome...but heyy,movies at the beginning of the week?! are you mad girl?!

and you'd better stop shoving food into your mouth & give your gut some break miss or else you'll grow as big as a cow! and get some exercise you lazy bum!

peringatan ringkas

2010-07-28T08:55:00.002+10:00

IMAM Al-Ghazali berkumpul dengan murid-muridnya lalu beliau bertanya: “ Apakah yang paling dekat dengan diri kita di dunia ini?” Masing-masing muridnya, menjawab: guru; teman, kaum kerabat, isteri atau suami. Imam Ghazali, berkata: ‘Semua jawapan itu benar. Tetapi yang paling dekat dengan kita ialah mati. Sebab itu janji Allah, bahawa setiap yang bernyawa pasti akan mati (Surah Ali-Imran :185).

Imam Ghazali bertanya lagi: “Apa yang paling jauh dari kita di dunia ini? Masing-masing menjawab, bulan, bintang dan matahari. Imam Ghazali membenar semua jawapan itu lalu berkata: yang paling tepat ialah masa lalu. Dengan apapun kemudahan kita, manusia tidak boleh kembali kepada masa lalu. Sebab itu kita perlu menjaga dengan teliti hari ini, esok dan akan datang dengan perbuatan yang dituntut agama Islam.”

Menyoal lagi Imam Ghazali : “Apa yang paling besar di dunia ini?” Pelbagai jawapan yang munasabah diterima daripada anak muridnya dan ia membenarkannya, namun berkata, jawapan paling tepat ialah hawa nafsu (Surah Al A’raf: 179). Maka kita harus hati-hati dengan nafsu kita, jangan sampai nafsu kita membawa ke neraka.”

Imam Ghazali bertanya lagi: “Apa yang paling berat di dunia ini?” Anak muridnya menjawab dan Imam Ghazali mengiyakan, namun berkata: “Perkara yang paling berat di dunia ialah memegang amanah (Surah Al-Azab : 72). Tumbuh-tumbuhan, gunung, dan malaikat semua tidak mampu ketika Allah SWT meminta mereka menjadi khalifah pemimpin di dunia ini. Tetapi manusia dengan sombongnya berebut-rebut menyanggupi permintaan Allah SWT sehingga banyak manusia masuk ke neraka kerana gagal memegang amanah.

Imam Ghazali bertanya: “Apakah perkara yang paling ringan di dunia ini?” Beliau menerima jawapan dan berkata: “Semua jawapan kamu itu benar, tetapi yang paling ringan sekali di dunia ini adalah meninggalkan solat. Gara-gara pekerjaan kita atau urusan dunia, kita tinggalkan solat.”

Imam Ghazali bertanya, “Apa yang paling tajam sekali di dunia ini?” Murid-Murid dengan serentak menjawab: “Pedang”. Imam Ghazali membenarkan jawapan itu, namun berkata: “Paling tajam ialah lidah manusia kerana melalui lidah, manusia dengan mudahnya menyakiti hati dan melukakan perasaan orang lain.”

always be there

2010-07-26T20:40:00.001+10:00

dimana silapnya...

2010-07-22T18:49:00.002+10:00

untuk dia yang tidak mungkin membaca ini

mana silapnya? pengaruh kawan terlalu kuat? buat aku terfikir...betapa pentingnye memilih kawan yang betul,yang baik. friends are reflection of yourself. ade orang cakap, buat ape nak pilih2 kawan? mcm kau bagus sgt je nk pilih2 sape buleh kawan ngn kau? oh well, you have a point there. memang xsalah kau nak kawan ngn sesiapa pun, orang angkat tahi/ bangla jual carpet sekalipun, selagi dia orang baik yang buleh dipercayai, yang tak menyesat & menyusahkan. well in fact, that is better than friends that made you lied to your parents! friends that drag you into the dark! friends who have poisoned your mind and heart.....until you've become like this. i'm sad.
honestly...i've never expect things like this to happen to us. because i believe that we all have a strong foundation, at least. you know what, i've seen people like you. i've heard some stories about people like you. because i went to school too. because i was foolish too. but now, when it really happens.................. i'm just blank. i simply don't understand. dimana silapnya..oh anyway... kembali kepada kawan,maksud memilih tu sebenarnye pilih mana yang boleh diikut, yang boleh membimbing.....dan yang mane perlu dijauhi. aku percaya itu.
what's in your mind man?! i don't get you! kau ingat hidup kau setakat ni je ke? kau ingat kau selamanya mcm ni ke? kau ingat ape yang kau ade sekarang ni boleh kau guna untuk masa depan? kau ingat dgn ponteng class kau boleh lulus exam? unless you have effort to study on your own at home.....which i doubt. i'm worried for you. ape la nak jadi dgn kau ni...i thought you've changed. oh wait a second....you have changed....you've become worse! i thought you've understand it already. but clearly you don't. i wonder if you have plans for your future life. kau nak tunggu tragic 'eye-opening' drama baru kau nk sedar?!
listened to stories about you made my heart burning, my head aching,and my forehead frowning. i sighed for thousand times...and i screamed that person i was talking to on the phone shocked. angry...and disappointed. you might think and say.."why do you care penyibuk?!!" ohhhh i'm SORRY kalau menyibuk! but we're related so indirectly whatever is happening now is my problem too moron!.....for whatever you've done and said, i'm afraid nobody will believe you anymore.
i know we're not close. we barely speak to each other kalau jumpe pun. ohh mungkin sebab kau yang selalu hilang!
they asked me to speak to you...see whether i can reach your heart. but i don't know, i keep delaying it because i'm pretty sure i'm not a suitable person. yeah...you probably needs someone around your age...and same gender~ people around you have shown some effort, but you don't let them through. or probably i should just call you and say hi, tanya khabar............tapi jujur dari hati, aku xtau nak cakap ape dengan kau!
remember the day you quarrelled with your sister? i shouted at you...it was just an empty shout. and i'm sorry for being biased. i wish i could say all this thing to you, in front of you, at that time.
i miss you so much. seeing and knowing you growing up so fast just to become a horrible person make me sick. i just hate what you're doing to yourself, but i don't hate you. i would never hate you because the very same blood that runs in your veins, runs in mine too.
this is the embarrassingly funny part....i can only speak to this stupid blog....... I CAN ONLY SPEAK TO THIS STUPID BLOG!

i sincerely apologise for being too emotional..please excuse me for my ignorance, recklessness and inappropriateness.

Ya Allah, bukakan hatinya...lembutkan hatinya supaya dia sedar...kami sayangkan dia.

the 2nd term

2010-07-19T16:04:00.004+10:00

oh well, semester 2 of 2nd year officially starts today. nothing special,everything seemed pretty much the same......walked to uni, late to class, were in the same lecture hall with the same batch mates...oh oh ohhhhhh except that more familiar faces this time around...walaupun 2 org je. anyway,welcome back guys! (mok & faiz)

and yeah during this semester, my brain will be learning about itself. hey brain,interesting aite? don't get confuse ya!

but first, lets settle the endocrinology! ohhh hormones, i love y'all. trying to be positive & excited~

p/s: the refugees in my room has gone back to their respective 'countries'.

dari hati (1)

2010-07-14T21:59:00.004+10:00

Dengan kata-kata pun tidak dapat ku jelaskan ribut di benakku
ingin diluahkan tapi lebih mudah jika ia kekal disitu
dan kerana Engkau Ya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui
pasti mengetahui apa yang tersimpan di dalam
aku mahu melakukan 'itu' insyaAllah
tapi 'penglihatan' ku kabur
lalu aku memohon padaMu ya Rabbi
agar Kau kuatkan hatiku yang lemah
agar Kau teguhkan pendirianku yang goyah
agar Kau bimbing mindaku yang sering lupa
agar Kau bantu aku didik diri & hati yang degil
agar Kau tunjukkan jalan yang lurus

terima kasih Ya Allah

amin...

sweet boy

2010-07-07T06:00:00.004+10:00

amad ckp, "akak jgn lupe ckp terima kasih kt c.nurul ye psl lego nih,"..so thnx utk c.nurul sbb belikn amad lego!

on my facebook wall,Monday 5th July 2010

via Anis

no worries amad,blaja rajin- rajin ye. doakan cik nurul tau.
cik nurul rindu korang.

melbourne

2010-07-01T19:17:00.005+10:00

...

2010-06-08T14:09:00.002+10:00

TAWAKAL!

menyampah

2010-05-22T13:39:00.004+10:00

pendek kata aku sangat menyampah!

kerajaan meng'halal'kan judi is a huge issue
banyak je yang membantah
mesti la kan...tak pernah dibuat by orang islam dalam dunia ni
tak jelas ke?
tak takot ke?
mak cakap,.."takotnye kalau malaysia kene bencana.."
na'uzubillah!
mak cakap lagi,.."tak malu ke? da la orang islam yang announce..".
personal opinion aku?
tak kesah la nk mengawal ke ape...nak maju kan sukan ke ape
bukan ke halal tu lebih penting?
bapak cakap,..."kesannye nanti mungkin lagi terok...mencuri,porak peranda rumah tangga sbb nak gadai rantai isteri bla bla bla...".
na'uzubillah!

mungkin kurang berkaitan,tapi orang bukan islam (i'm pretty sure) tidak setuju.

ini lagi aku menyampah!

ye,kau je la yang paling ikhlas membantah
ye,kau la orang pertama yang menyatakan ketidakpuasanhati

sekarang bukan masa untuk hentam orang lain yang sama2 membantah la woi!
tak payah nak timbulkan isu lain
nak deviate attention?
nanti ok? nanti je la

sekadar luahan rasa menyampah
tidak menjurus pada mana-mana pihak
sekian terima kasih.

SEMOGA MEREKA MENDAPAT PETUNJUK...

exams is coming..less than 2 weeks

when you thought i was not looking

2010-04-21T19:51:00.001+10:00

When you thought I was not looking
you packed the leftovers and bring them for us
with a wide smile on your face

When you thought I was not looking
you stroked the stray cat
and fed it

When you thought I was not looking
you called your neighbours
to ask them if they are allright

When you thought I was not looking
you sliced the best mangoes
and keep them for us

When you thought I was not looking
you sewed my baju kurung
in the wee hours of Aidilfitri

When you thought I was not looking
you let strangers in
and comforted them with kindness and all

When you thought I was not looking
you strolled at the pasar malam
looking for sellers with unsold items

When you thought I was not looking
you let them rent your house
with minimum price

When you thought I was not looking
you sketched the budget
with our names at the top of the list

When you thought I was not looking
you prayed for us
and showered us with love

When you thought I was not looking
you thought we won't understand
but you've taught us
to learn even when we're not looking

so mak and bapak
you're our inspiration to discern that
seeing is greater than looking
walking is greater than talking
believing is greater than saying
we understand them all
though there are so much to be written down
your love and care
your kindness and warm heart
your generousity and sincerity
are what have made us today

Oh Allah the Almighty
please shower them with your blessing and mercy
for teaching us to see, walk and believe

written by Dina Imam Supaat

she made wrong decision

2010-04-11T19:39:00.002+10:00

she made wrong decision
she knew it from the beginning actually
but she ignored it
the decision is eating her from inside

once again

she's not proud of it
it killing her

___________________________________________________________________________________________

hadis ni ju baca after solat jemaah maghrib td

Abu Musa r.a narrates that Nabi S.A.W said: The guidance and knowledge with which Allah sent me is like abundant rain that falls on land (which has three different terrains.) A part of the land was fertile, it absorbed the water, and sprouted lush plantation and pasture. Another part was barren, it help up the water, and Allah made it beneficial for people who drank from it. And gave (cattle) to drink from it, and irrigated from it. The rain fell on the third part which was a hard plain, it neither held the water nor sprouted grass. (Likewise there are three types of persons). For example: The one who acquires understanding of Deen of Allah, and benefits from what Allah has sent me with, and he learns, and he teaches; (and the other who did not benefit himself but others were benefited through him); and the third, who does not show regard to that and does not accept Allah's guidance with which I have been sent.

(Bukhari)

golongan yang manakah aku?

its simple,but she made it complicated

2010-04-09T06:50:00.004+10:00

she has decided,but she's not relieved
she has tried not to care,but she kept thinking of it
even her heart is confused
she felt tight, and heavy
she knows she's being very selfish - sorry - but just this one time
she wishes she can do both
but she needs quality,and some time for herself -selfish again
please dont get her wrong
she cares,and she's not happy
'cause there's nothing to be proud of

mengapa aku keraskan hati?

bapak,nurul rindu...

after photo, before duck

2010-04-07T01:45:00.001+10:00

"elaborate on things..tgk la ape yg kite dapat..kadang2 kite x perlu jawapan pon..jawapan akan dtg bile kite tulis n brainstorm stuff"

1st half

2010-04-05T00:05:00.006+10:00

ohh my,time flies...super fast! it's half of semester already...done with cardio (but still has many to catch up), now is 2nd working problem of respi, soon will finish with respi, then jump into haem~~~~~ *gasping for air* exam! *deep breath*

hectic. busy. etc etc etc. meeting meeting meeting...penat hokay!

sports carnival: wish to have fun, and not very bad experience..oh no,cuaksss! >.<

owns a car (eventhough share with 4 housemates) gives another responsibility to carry.
*sigh* rosak,minyak,rego etc etc etc.

btw,

is in attempt to save some money for some reasons; car's rego, flight ticket to go home for summer hols ( i want MAS hokayyy!!), ipod (since last year =(...someone suggest beli iphone) & to visit kak dina (london...^.^). have been fasting from shopping (did tewas last week, found damn nice baju(s) at K-Mart >.< cant resist!...*alasan*), reduce expenses on food (one way to stay in shape...KONON! but i do actually,prepare my lunch before go to class), no travel/trip whatsoever ('cause i wanna get big one at the end of the year...^.^ hope so insyaAllah), and cut unnecessary expenditures e.g baju (have loads already) & movie (seen 2 movies..oooppsss! good movies..so forgiven =P)

p/s: zaid is in town! ^.^ old friend,loads of things to catch up~

i know this is boring...thanks for your time~

mental game

2010-02-09T11:58:00.007+11:00

i want to forgive you
but i find it hard
things wouldn't be the same anymore
i probably need more time to recover
but believe me, things wouldn't be the same anymore
you'll be different
because you will keep secrets from me
and i definitely will be different
the disappointment may soon fades away
but it leave stains....
truthfully, i'm more mad to myself rather than to you
for one reason, i'm certain
but for the rest,i can't figure out why~

this coming friday...

2010-02-07T23:44:00.003+11:00

will be flying back to newcastle. really long holiday, i must say. really long...yet too short~

its too long that i started to miss newcastle,my room,daily routine,walking to class,shopping at woolies and my brain is rusting,really bad one, for god sake! been abandoning books since december..OMG! i planned to read about ECG and neuro during the holiday. however, its no more than just a plan because i take no action. to buy book, or to search some info from internet (padahal aku surf everyday....damn you!)

time will never stop....

its still too short that i'm gonna miss home so much, miss the car, miss the food, miss the people, miss everything! mak bising that i didn't cook at home. mak, i had enough cooking in newcastle...i wanna eat your food.

about the flight....lesson to be learned...THINK BEFORE BUY!
its friday,working day, and got friday prayer somemore. how lahhhhh my family nk tunggu at the airport???!!! why lahhhh you sooo clever nurul??!!!

next post will be from newcastle...~

p/s: anybody, please tolong pack kan brg sy.....~~~

20% a doctor

2009-12-11T16:54:00.003+11:00

bak kata ain.."..i'm now 20% a doctor!"
80% more to go..insyaAllah
result keluar yesterday, 11th Dec
only Allah knows how nervous i am.... my heart pounded very badly
there were so many things that happened throughout the exams period that made me think i probably have to repeat this 2nd sem...
but Allah helped me. He gave me this big present..i pass and may proceed to 2nd year.. alhamdulillah.... THANK YOU YA ALLAH!!...
lets make the next & upcoming semesters more productive,proactive and better, i vow.
insyaALLAH

heaps of appreciation to fellow friends who has helped and accompanied me... dearest housemates,kak anis,mok and the rest of the boys!

mari terus berusaha! =D

sick of it

2009-11-19T08:18:00.002+11:00

been reading some malaysian news
been reading some political stuff
ohhh soo sick of it
which ever side
whoever talking
need sometime to digest

counting days with my fingers

2009-11-16T14:24:00.003+11:00

i'm counting days with my fingers
10 fingers are too many
i just need lesser than that
can't hide my excitement anymore
i'm a little bit hyper lately i guess
didn't i, my dearest housemates?
a little bit happier
keep imagining how's the house would look like
how's my bedroom gonna be
how's my lovely family gonna do
i know they all miss me very much
(my sisters will run crazy & puke if they read this)
lalalalalalalalaaa
and my super duper friends too
(heyyyy don't bully & prank me ok??!)
i know everything are still the same
(but maybe i'm a bit different..)
bapak told me the other night
he impressed i recognized the sound of table fan next to house's telephone
everything's still in the same position
i reckon my stuff inside the room stays there as well
missing everything about home ^.^

ohhh better get going
one more paper to go
and the semester ends
and for the past papers
i leave everything to Allah
whether i will come back to newcastle early next year
or later..........
wallahu'alam

gotta a date!
wheathers and martini are waiting
lying open loyally in front of me
so tataa!

p/s: clear blue pool water is very tempting in this hot wheather....

insyaALLAH

2009-11-07T14:53:00.002+11:00

INSYAALLAH

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can`t see which way to go
Don`t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way

Everytime you can make one more mistake
You feel you can`t repent
And that its way too late
Your`re so confused,wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don`t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He`s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don`t let me go astray
You`re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way 2x
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah we`ll find the way

p/s: thought the video shows something else other than maher zain's face. but since already downloaded it, so mls la nk search for yg lain...

2009-10-25T20:09:00.002+11:00

two souls in a body (impossible...)
different characteristics...
but sometimes alike
when the brain wants glass, heart wants diamond
but both want to shine...
while the brain wants money,heart wants gold
but both want to be rich...
when the brain tells to wear red, heart tells to wear blue
but both want to look good....
while the brain says no,and the heart says yes
but both just want the best....

some decisions has to be made.....

p/s: kalau tny mak, msti mak ckp istikharah bnyk2...~

countdown

2009-10-14T11:25:00.002+11:00

24th NOV 2009

41 days left

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

>.<

MUHASABAH CINTA

2009-10-09T16:36:00.005+11:00

dust storm

2009-09-26T08:55:00.005+10:00

tanda kekuasaan Allah S.W.T.....

and today...NSW is covered with dust again

I NEED A BREAK

2009-09-15T20:28:00.002+10:00

I

NEED

A

BREAK

!!

i just don't get it

2009-09-06T12:15:00.004+10:00

seriously..i just don't get it
why?
tell me why?
why is it so hard?
you seemed like a stranger
and you sounded like a stranger
or perhaps you are a stranger
and it's just me, stupidly, assumed that i knew you
can't you see?
don't you understand?
or you have a hidden message?
hinting me on something
something that you want me to see
to show and to open my eyes

i feel helpless...and hopeless
tried to be optimistic
but i just can't...
i'm not perfect...i know
and so do you
but.......
would you please understand this?
'cause that's all i asked

p/s: i'm screwed.... i hate myself

si tembam ini...

2009-09-04T01:05:00.004+10:00

si tembam & booooolat ini is celebrating her special day.... (that's what people say about getting older)...

Alhamdulillah....umur dipanjangkan lagi until this year...until this special day.

Thank you very very very very much for this gift

You've given me good health until now

more than enough food to eat

great friends that i can rely on whenever and wherever

lovely family who are always praying for my success

peaceful land that i can live on

beautiful house to be my shelter

and many many more....

Sweet September

Happy birthday and the sweetest September,
A celebration we shall surely remember.
We know you waited another year,
To bring all of us, together and near.

Happy birthday and the sweetest September,
In our lives, you are a valued member.
You’ve always proudly, stood by our side,
Encouraging words freely provide.

Happy birthday and the sweetest September,
Your heart brings us warmth, like a hot glowing ember.
Thankful for actions, unselfish, and kind,
Most precious memories bring joy to our mind.

www.special-birthday-poems.com By Martin Dejnicki

kegilaan bersajak untuk diri sendiri ^.^!

p/s: mak, xnk wish nurul ke?????!!!!!! >.<

during first night of ramadhan.....

2009-08-22T14:55:00.005+10:00

when everyone is eager....and excited to welcome the holy month....and missing home very much while away from family....one should have not be like a jerk....should have not break someone else's heart like a breaking biscuits....should have not said something hurtful as if others don't have feelings......childish & immature......when they've been very kind...helpful.... thoughful....& supporting you all this while~

thousands & millions of apologize for the rudeness....and ungratefulness

you don't deserve this...and i don't deserve your kindness anymore

Allah,help me to keep this friendship..........

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(ok...change the tone..)

and during the first day of ramadhan too...affan is celebrating his 6th birthday.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY my boy. LOVEEEEE!!!!! time flies....next year he'll be in standard 1 daaaaaaaaa....waaaa!!

i called....and he asked,"....cik nurul nak beli ape untuk affan? kalau xde hadiah, xpayah balik rumah.....". HOIIIIII kau budak kecik.....!! akak,ape ajar budak ni cmni??!

ohh forgive me!

2009-08-11T17:20:00.003+10:00

ohhh forgive me....please ignore my previous entry....i was totally out of mind...totally ungrateful... insane...crazy....and STUPID!

being childish isn't a brilliant thing to do....isn't appropriate though~

p/s: i'm sinful..~ T_T

being childish

2009-08-10T23:09:00.003+10:00

had already made up my mind. not going back home for raya. seriously. they dont need me there.they dont want me.so i'm not going back home.....well,why should i go home? bangi x best pon! and i still can puasa & raya here....can cook for myself,a lot of food you know..and i'll eat all of it...sampai mati kekenyangan!

p/s: yes..i'm sulking here alright??!!!! kecik hati tau....bluekkkkk,xnak kawan!

message behind the pictures..

2009-08-07T23:59:00.007+10:00

anybody get the message?

feels very old

2009-08-04T00:24:00.005+10:00

facebook connects people..long lost friends (xlost pon actually..) rakan-rakan tadika, sekolah rendah bertemu semula...merata2 mereka semua. doing different2 things. things has changed, obviously....people can't be exactly the same person after 10 years,can they? well of course mereka berubah, i suppose..sbb sy juga da lain..sikit~ (lupekannn...)

kisah disebalik entry ini sbnrnye ialah hubungan-hubungan semakin terjalin antara individu....sekian~

well...talking about getting old...apparently,i'm the eldest or OLDEST person amongst my tutemates. hahaaa great! menarik gila di situ...they all are just eighteen-ish (tapi bdn sgt tua...gaya sgt matang)...even the person yg repeat semester tu pon is younger than me...hahaaa rs gemilang! well,one of them is 20. tapi aku..................tua!

BUT...the most interesting part of this is when they all terkejut knowing that i'm much older than they expect....which means.....ku muda!! LOL (ku gila..~)

exactly within a month, i'll be an adult..young adult...(huaaaaaaaa nk jadi kanak2 can x?) but that's ok...rakan2 sebaya di seluruh dunia sgt menarik! ku mahu membesar...!~ (not in term of size..)

(nanna,sila bertaubat!)

love them heaps,
miss them tonnes.

wp tergendala..gtg,bye...brb!

p/s: should i go back during spring break? seminggu je..tp i'm deadly missing home u know...and my kiddos~

lazyness

2009-07-29T21:56:00.005+10:00

lazy.........

malas....

lazy............

malas...................

lazy.........

malas..........

lazy......................................

malas.................

lazy......

malas........................

lazy............

malas..................

lazy..............

mak kate,"....mane ade perkataan malas dlm kamus org islam...!!"..... tp mengapakahhh ku SGT malassssssssssssssssssssssssss!

dushhh di pipi yg tembam ini....aduhhh~

bace buku..nti jap
exercise...tak mahu *pdhal da gemok gedempol..*
assignments...esok masih ada

weyyy apekah??!!

help!!

p/s: homesick...and crazee~~

melancholy 2

2009-07-10T01:07:00.003+10:00

i wanna go back now
i wish i have wings
i wish i can fly back home
i wish i can be there for him when he needed me the most
at this time around especially
thinking of him tears me apart
imagining him walking a distance gives me a sensational pain
he's my spirit booster
i knew he's strong
internally & externally
but i just can't
i really do wish i can fly back home now

melancholy

2009-07-06T15:04:00.005+10:00

when sitting alone
everything struck simultaneously
comes into thought without invitation
choking
suffocating
gives a shot of guilt, a slap of waking up
which are painful,very painful
unexplainable
indescribable
inexpressible
feels awarded with depression
hopeless
and so helpless
never wish to repeat 'it'
but refuse to act
weary
or perhaps frightened
hoping for things to settle by themselves as time goes by
unfortunately
it can't come off
no
not even in dreams
feels sorry for myself

when i close my eyes...

2009-07-01T01:20:00.005+10:00

and when i open it, i wish i could see

this girl..

and this girl

and this girl

and this girl

and this girl

and this girl too

and last but not least....

the girl on the left too

standing before my eyes...

hols pnjg sgt...menyesal x balik msia

boleh x cmtu???

p/s: to mak & bapak...nti nurul call ok??? ^_^

day 2

2009-06-21T16:39:00.002+10:00

its the 2nd day of holiday...
feels like da 2 tahun!
everything seems so slow
the pace...the climate...and even the people
semua bermalasan...
hey this is HOLIDAYY!
of course la bermalasan
dan bertige je kat rumah besar ni
sunyi sepi....
sejuk....
a week before depart to melbourne
perlu diisi dgn sesuatu
ku kebosanan!
suggestion from housemates
horse riding,whale-whatching window shopping kt kotara
serta pergi cari kedai dobi
our clothes need drier
di cuaca sejuk ini....
baju tidak mungkin kering & crispy
and my mission
got to work harder kot
at least yesterday i managed to say no to ice cream
but today nk mkn pizza pulak
haisssh~
called pn j
she's still the same woman
cookies..almost done
its for new family living in front of our house
they're from saudi arabia
they helped us yesterday with all the groceries
we were pushing our trolley up the hill
uncle aziz offered to help to send us home
he said i'm like your father
and my daughters are like your sisters
just knock the door
anytime you need something
terharu tak??
sangat kot..especially when he said "..i'm like your father.."
^_^
thanks heaps!
text messaged kak marlina
"ooo,jelesnye...da ade kakak baru.."
"kiteorg tetap suke & syg korg lagi!!!"
aren't they sweet?
i just love these sisters so much
eyy nk tulis sikit jerr
termembebel pulak

HAPPY HOLIDAY folks!!

let the picture do the talking...

2009-06-19T16:47:00.004+10:00

insyaALLAH

rezeki dariNya ada di mana-mana

=)

p/s: rindu rumah......

half way through....

2009-06-16T18:41:00.003+10:00

half way through the war...
exams actually..
bak kate naza...3 down,3 to go
comment? PAINFUL! T_T
loads of appreciations to kak wardiah (baitussyifaa' lg tepat...)
for the reminder...

"ALLAHUMMA YAASIR WA LA TU'ASSIR..."

perjuangan mesti diteruskan!

post exam mission: exercise...till die!!!!

no ronggeng...no money~

my stomach = rubbish bin.....???

even bapak said i'm gemok!

sadisss..tragiss~

eyy hoi nurulkhusna,got prof prac esok...td dpt jwb sgt la hahhh???

"YA ALLAH,TUNJUKKAN AKU JALAN YG LURUS..."

almost there...

2009-06-08T14:02:00.003+10:00

study hard
study smart
pray hard too....

berkati ilmu Mu ini ya Allah

InsyaALLAH

*tekun2*

TOMBO ATI

2009-05-30T09:22:00.001+10:00

counting...

2009-05-27T23:46:00.002+10:00

few days left....for autumn.June's coming...winter's coming.

*nk show off baju je sbnrnye...* ^.^

ujian di tanah seberang....

2009-05-26T10:46:00.003+10:00

alhmdulillah..bapak selamat *syukur syukur!!* that operation wasn't a dangerous one, tp shouldn't i be worried? bapak's condition wasn't good lately..

i am worried. daku di perantauan ok?!

i called home, and talked to bapak.."kabare?"....
he replied..."waras,alhamdulillah....".

the next day.....

i called home again, and talked to mak..."kabare? hari ni pegi mn?".....
she answered.."waras,alhmdulillah.....pegi hospital tadi..."
"kenape,buat pe kt hospital? check BP?"
"hantar bapak..."
"HAH!!!! kenape ngn bapak???!!"
"xboleh buang air kecik...mcm dulu tu..."
and mak tell me evrything....

T_T

the day before, i called bapak and he said he's ok. but actually he's not.....
he just don't want me to worry
but no! i'll be more worry knowing that you're hiding something

he went to see specialist. Dr. fulan *x ingt nm..maaf* suggested tht remove the whole gland. sebab ubat yang bapak makan tu da xberkesan...and plus bapak's heart weakened, lungs banyak air.....

surgery : monday 25th may 2009, 10.00 am , KPJ kajang

called abg amal yesterday afternoon,he said bapak ok *alhmdulillah* baru keluar dr OT.

called kak siti last night,talked to bapak...

"kabare?"
"waras, da selamat...alhamdulillah...berkat doa nurul.."

T_T

he sounds ok, but weak...but i can hear the ceria inside the voice because ramai yg dtg melawat.. apart from his own family.....jemaah surau2 yg kenal bapak dtg melawat.... =)

so bapak has to stay for 3-5 days in hospital....doctor wants to monitor him

nurul sayang bapak....sgt
i wish i could be there

Terima kasih..ya ALLAH...

weekend

2009-05-26T09:56:00.007+10:00

160509 @ saturday @ 5.00am - watched sunrise at foreshore.....

SUBHANALLAH!!!!

*no editing*

this is us....~

breakfast...

me breakfast...cool socks LOL

1st year med studs of UoN
*tiada dlm gmba : akma,ilia & zaki*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

170509 @ sunday - keria-making time, with housemates

for kak wardiah's housewarming (baitulsyifa')

menarikkkk!!! sedap..manis...~

kalau kt msia,beli je semua..xcukup mase nk buat sendiri...
tp kat cni..kalau nk mkn,kene la buat sendiri..ape kan daya!

"mak,terharu x??!!!" ^.^

epah,see this!!!

2009-05-24T13:25:00.003+10:00

1)Bekas kekasih saya adalah..don't have one~

2)Saya sedang mendengar..surah Ali-Imran *xtipu*

3)Mungkin saya patut..reduce unnecessary food consumptions..hurmmm~

4)Saya suka..sitting,doing nothing~

5)Sahabat-sahabat saya...hyper,mental, hillarious, colourful ^.^

6)Saya tak paham...they're promoting healthy lifestyle but they still drink alcohol.. =.=

7)Saya kehilangan...skill to speak in jawa..*mak xde nk practice*

8)Ramai yang berkata..dagu saya panjang...*HOIII!!*

10)Cinta itu adalah....need extra time to justify...~

11)Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang...menanam harapan terhadap ku...jgn kecewakan dia..atau mereka..~

12)Saya akan cuba...make myself a better human

13)Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud....selamanye laaa,xphm sastera!

14)Telefon bimbit saya..is silent *dlm library*

15)Bile saya terjaga.. search for hp,off alarm,strech...and shut my eyes back (for few minutes..)

16)Saya paling meluat...i have a list for that,tapi manusia x sempurna...so let them be~

17)Pesta/parti adalah...keempat terakhir dlm list aktiviti di ms lapang

18)Haiwan yang paling comel penah saya temui...rabbit affan..shinbi *xla cute sgt ponn*

19)Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan saya ialah...not sure..i'll tell you when i'm 60 *insyaALLAH pnjng umur*

20)Hari ini...flu sy getting better ^_^

21)Malam ini saya akan...cramp my brain with brain... *anat,physio,patho,pharm & bla bla bla...faint*

22)Esok pula saya akan... cramp myself with lectures until 6 pm *dying*

23)Saya betul2 inginkan...a car..easy to go here & there

24)Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini...pale..*this flu is killing me*

25)Pusat membeli belah atau arked permainan...i prefer to stay at home *kidding* =P

26)Makanan barat atau jepun...Jawa..*not answering the question*..both are fine~

27)Bilik yang terang atau gelap...terang utk borak,gelap utk tido!

28)Makanan segera adalah...fattening!!! *tp sedapp,sy suke...* T_T

29)Ayat terakhir yang anda telah katakan pada seseorang...eat that chocolate!!!

30)Siapa yang anda ingin tag.. sesiapa yg mahu buat ini...honestly,sy sendiri mls sbnrnye... hehee *kebosanan di library*

new colour of life

2009-05-24T13:18:00.001+10:00

I said to myself before..never get involved in this heart-breaking game, not now..not too soon..not until the time has come. But somehow, I broke the promise..i get involved in something that I feel uncertain, dilemma…ambiguous, apparently. I tried to put myself together back, but I think I failed. Things don’t seem good as i feel very vulnerable. Things don’t go well either. I tried to be optimistic but I just can’t get rid of it..away from my mind. I feel dry. I searched for an advice..or maybe advices. For one second, I feel convinced. But another moment, the confidence faded turned into big fat doubt. The values that I hold, and the principles that I do not wish to violate, made me think more…deeper and deeper, again and again. It’s about future, just can’t take it easily. Do you think it’s too early to ponder upon this? Maybe, but I do not hope to end up like a…….. crapp…….~

*emo emo*

Better now or never….
what do you think????

Leave it for now…will come back to this later

Exams weyyyy!!

*mak, nurul cuak!!!!*

selamat hari ibu....syg mak!

2009-05-10T08:20:00.003+10:00

terdengar lagu susu fernleaf.......
rindu mak sbb lama x jumpe mak
nk mak peluk sbb penuh & puasss
nak mak main rambut sbb nak dgr mak ckp "rambut kering,g letak minyak".
nak mak urut sakit bahu sbb org lain urut xkuat
nak makan jangan lombok mak sbb xtau nak buat cmne
nak makan pecal lele mak sbb kat cni xde ikan keli
nak dgr mak jerit "pergi angkit baju!!" sbb kat sini slalu lupe
nak dgr mak ckp jawa sbb rindu mak

NAK MAKKKKK!!!! T_T

mak...
you're the best!
i won't ask for the other
because having u is enough.......~

moving in

2009-05-03T16:15:00.004+10:00

into new room....literally new,as in new...real new. and big tooooo...ain,don't be jealous...at least you got my old room which is big too...but mine is bigger~ woooooooo!! ^.^

new curtains...see the window on the right??? i bought pokoks to put there..

view from inside...

went to sunday market to buy pokoks,suddenly saw proton car...its wira but at the back was written persona....hmmmm apekah,mls layan~

time flies....da week 8,4 more weeks to go before final exam...heeeeee serammmmm!!
*gmba tertembam di dunia*

hurts and pain...

2009-04-19T11:24:00.005+10:00

i can't say i know how you feel..cause i don't know exactly how it feels
but i can imagine how you feel...losing your loved one...is it painful?
keeping track of memories, to let go the sadness and loneliness
only if time can be pulled back..i will help you,certainly.
i wish i could be there...but no,how?
i wish you can go on....be strong my friend!

and when the time has come for me to feel what you feel..i hope i'm strong too...

Ya ALLAH, sejahtera dan peliharalah ibu bapa ku di dunia & akhirat Mu....
Ku berharap mereka sentiasa di sisiku...tetapi syurgaMu lebih abadi
Sediakan diriku dengan kekuatan..tabahkan hatiku bila masa Kau ingin memanggil mereka...

tears can't stop pouring down my cheeks...imagining myself in your position..and it hurts me knowing you feeling lonely~

aku kurang bersyukur...

2009-04-07T19:57:00.002+10:00

bila hari panas,
aku merungut sbb peluh-peluh...
bila cuaca sejuk,
aku merengek sbb menggigil...
bila hari hujan,
aku merungut sbb basah,baju x kering...
bila homework banyak,
aku bising sebab xcukup masa nk buat, stress!
bila cuti,
aku complaint kebosanan, miss the busy days...
bila ade makanan,
aku menceceh sbb makan bnyak x ikut nafsu..
bila mknn xde,
aku merungut malas nak masak...

huhhh terok sggh!

aku insan lemah lagi x tahu bersyukur.....~

Ini cabaran besar bagi ku, ya ALLAH..
kuat & tabahkan hati ku~

hari yang panjang...

2009-03-29T09:16:00.003+11:00

semalam terasa terlalu panjang
terlalu lama untuk malam datang
TERLALU LAMA untuk hari baru muncul
TAK MUNGKIN LUPA
dan tak mungkin leka
insyaALLAH....
Tuhanku Maha Berkuasa, Maha Penyayang
lagi Maha Melindungi
Pengajaran besar bagi kami
PERINGATAN PENTING dari Mu untuk aku
Kelalaian yang kami kesali
TERIMA KASIH pada Mu
kerana memberi kami 'keluarga' di sini.

2009-03-24T18:18:00.002+11:00

i called home..bapak answered,and i asked how are you..he's happy to hear my voice,and i'm definitely more than happy to hear his voice. i failed to call last night because my mind is full of hypothesis testing and it made me sleepy and i fall asleep, that's why i call today. bapak had an appoinment with urologist yesterday. i called bapak and asked,"....appoinment smlm ok? doktor ckp ape?". Bapak replied very casually,"....alhamdulillah ok. keputusannya kene bedah." My heart stopped beating (not literally). Blood rushed into my brain,i felt my head expanding. i asked again,"....bedah?! kenape?..". Bapak replied again,"...bengkak hari tu ade lagi.da kecut tp ade lagi sikit. jadi doktor nak buang.doakanlah insyaALLAH bapak selamat.". AAAAAHHHHHH...risaunye. the surgery is scheduled on 21st April. its about a month from now. that's just a minor surgery,but still,he's my bapak tau...how can i not risau? i want to be there!!! wait for him outside the theatre. you know what's funny? i'm doing medic,looking at organs and body parts in anatomy lab, watch surgeries vidoes,people get cut and whatsoever...but when it comes to my own beloved father, to imagine he's lying alone on the table (or whatever the name is..) inside the OT, i feel weak...(should i feel like that?)..i know he's a strong man,he even said someone can just send him to the hospital and then can go to work. i hope i can be there.....i realy wish i can...only if i can...

be strong lady!!! your daddy gonna be fine...insyaALLAH~~~

to Princess Liyana....

2009-03-22T20:52:00.005+11:00

special entry for Princess Liyana Tengku Zain....

inilah rumah beta di perantauan.... 25 SUNSET BOULEVARD,NORTH LAMBTON.

front view.....

side view....

front view....right side

pool....cleaning process

backyard.....

pool from dining area....slalu shout je if nk panggil julie mkn

common area....comfy couch..weeeeeeee~

kitchen..sorry,lillte bit messy...julie's making carrot cake~ YUMMY!!

my huge mirror wardrobe!! oppps lil messy lor my room

my bed & my table....very untidy..but not as bad as pig sty..LOL!!

melting like an ice...

2009-03-21T22:53:00.005+11:00

PART ONE

Naza & Apek is having a housewarming party. just got back from their house in Heaton St. in fact,i was asked to help them cook sambal nasi lemak ,and so i & my housemates were invited to come. sgt SEGAN!!! da la rmi sggh para lelaki di situ..weeee segan!!! ok lupekan..berbalik kepada tajuk asal. ku sgt terharu,tersentuh...dan cair sebenarnye melihat adegan kasih sayang...

full story: there's this 6 months old baby boy who kept crying..even when mak die cuddled pun baby tu x berapa tenang. then i saw this brother dukung baby tu,and the baby just stop crying.... but not as in immediately stop crying...the baby looks confortable. serta cara brother tu dukung baby tu sgt la menarik hati...so fatherly...loving...lalalaaaa~

weeeyyhh apekah??!!

PART TWO

3rd week of the semester...so far,i would say fairly okay. can't say great,coz it wasn't great at all. can't say gloomy,coz there's sunshine sometimes....still coping & adapting~~~~~~ it feels so hard sometimes....i wish i'm strong enough to withstand all these....i'm still strunggling to keep up with everything, and now been given a new responsibility, which is 'great'!! hope it will not become a distraction...or whatever~

PART THREE

trip to sydney was a blast!! i had great fun...& great exhaustion. 21 hours of sightseeing & shopping. check fb for the pics...

(was taken by ain,salute you babe!!)

PART FOUR

baru tau kenape org ckp "wow,mcm kt hollywood!!" when bgtau where we live... rupa-rupanya di LA ade SUNSET BOULEVARD...hohohohoooo terasa duduk di zmn batu.

hello sydney!

2009-03-13T22:34:00.002+11:00

m going to sydney tomorrow
HAPPY!!! weeeeeeee~~~ ^.^
put aside working problem
and learning targets
and confusing PH articles too
just for a day
lets have REAL fun
SHOPPING!!
FOOD!!
picturessss.....

suddenly received a txt msg from Mr President,saying tht there'll b a hndover ceremony tomorrow morning,at huxley............. ku da kecewa!!!!! huuuu sobssss

tht was VERY VERY VERY LAST MINUTE NOTICE!!!

(xperlu emosi...)
sy diexcusekan dr menghadiri majlis itu...heeee~ =P

(walau pun agak berslh....)

BIG EVENTS

2009-03-08T10:32:00.003+11:00

menarik sungguh rehat ku mlm tadi..tidur yang amat nyenyak~~ tp mimpi xbuleh blahh haishh

mmg sgt penat,tumit kaki da sakit sbb berdiri lama sgt. dari jumaat mlm,smbung msk sabtu pagi. ade party MYSUN, it was a welcoming party for first year,tp kiteorg yang msk. best kan??!
girls in kimian msk nasi lemak dgn ayam sambal. girls in sunset (me me!! and housemates) msk mee kari (or lebih tepat spaghetti kari) serta bubur kacang hijau. sume berjalan lancar except that my bubur terasa hangit..thnks to periuk hangus!!! cehhh

and ms party tu ade buat AGM juge. so kene calon-mencalon serta vote-memvote. hasilnye ialah committee members yg baru didominasi oleh non-malays. 'great'!!

next event...KENDURI WALIMATUL URUS UTK KAK WARDIAH & HARITH~~

weeeee sgt menarik. they are my seniors. 5th year medic student. they were schoolmate (MRSM Taiping),they were collegemate (KMB) hahaaa sweet sgt. tp xde gamba nk tunjuk,nti curik dr sesape. hohoho yesterday was their 40th day of marriage. kak wardiah sgt baik.sy sgt suke kak wardiah!! and she and abg harith wants to stay in australia after grad. yay!! kak wardiah,sila bersedia.. nti kiteorg slalu dtg attack rumah akak tau! LOL

manyak hw meh..need to look up some info for working problem.

last word..CONGRATULATION to kak wardiah & abg harith~~

(^_^)

eh jap,pesanan ringkas...kpd rakan2 ku yg berada di mn shj,nk kahwin jemput la daku, akn ku terbang walau beribu batu...huhuhuuu nana,ingat tau!! *winkkk*

STUPIDO!!

2009-03-03T22:27:00.003+11:00

2nd day of the semester...so far quite ok. its just i still can't adapt to few things: aussie's speed of speech,their slang and their JOKES...contrast to malaysian's jokes.

ok lets put that aside...the purpose of me membebel at this moment is because tell a story of a
B-E-N-G-O-N-G girl. stupido!!

she was very tired yesterday..mentally exhausted as she attended non-stop lectures..(ade la break kejap..).and because of that,she slept very early last night,right after maghrib. but then she woke up at about 9.30pm to perform Isya' prayer. and after that she continued her dream. the following day,that morning she met her coursemate and they chat for a while at the student's hubs. her coursemate is a girl form sri lanka,but has stayed in malaysia for a few years. it was girls' talk, so she told the sri lankan girl about last night; slept early,get up tp pray and whatsoever. the sri lankan girl asked," oh do you need to pray early in the morning too, right? like 3 or 4am?". and the girl answered," yep,sort of but not that early. right here in australia,we maybe have different times to pray cz of different seasons. yeah but still 5 times per day." sri lankan girl asked again," oh so you have specific times to pray? why can't you just pray 5 times a day at any time you like?. stunned... speechless...silence...erk..the girl don't have the answer. she doesn't have a good answer to be given to her coursemate other than 'it's stated in Quran' or whatever....the pause of the conversation was too long that the sri lanka girl said," never mind, its ok,you don't to answer that." it felt like a punch on the girl face,a stab to her heart and a knock on her head. the incident haunted her for the rest of the day...damn it!!! stupido!!! it was very embarassing that the girl wanted to be like an ostrich. only if she could bury her hear into the ground. unfortunately she couldn't. and so,as soon as she arrived at her house, she recharged her mobile and dialled her parent's house number in malaysia. she has to find the answer so that she wouldn't be embarrassed of not knowing what to tell if being ask the same question. very fortunate of her that her father was very helpful. he gave such a convincing answer,"...solat tu 'mknn' rohani,jiwa,roh. sama mcm badan,roh pun perlu 'mkn'. kalau badan disuapkan dgn mknn lebih 5 kali sehari, roh pun mestila sama. kalau kite kurg mkn, bdn kurus,sakit. roh pun sm. kalau kite mkn bnyk dan seimbang,bdn sihat. sm juga roh... dlm islam,kite percaya roh dan jasad harus bersm selari...". and she feels,this answer is the best. easy to deliver,easy to understand. and because of that she suddenly miss her father so much that she wants to hug him tight,right now.only if she could....

bermcm2 tone entry ni..hahaa ok,GTG!!

first anat lab tomorrow..excited yet nervous~~~

p/s: nurul rindu umah sgt2...

teruja tapi cemas....about everything

2009-03-01T18:06:00.005+11:00

hari ini buat housewarming party,jemput rkn2 serta kakak-kakak senior dtg rumah baru aku dan housemates lain duduk for 1 week. we moved in last week,on saturday. our house is big,i love it!! we all love it~ i'll upload some pics later...bz meh masak2. frankly,i was very excited yet anxious to be the host. of course laaa,need to cook for almost 50 people mehh! haisssh....but it was a success. great one! we work together to prepare all the foods. all the guests said our cook were nice.."sedap la..bagusnye korg masak bnyk2 cmni..". kami kembang~~~ thnks to seniors for their massive help; to find our house,deposit payment,cooking utensils,brgn menghidang dsbgnye... heeee we had nugget maggi fpr appetizer (anne's idea,very innovative one) main course were nasi tomato (first attempt,thnk GOD menjadi..), ayam msk merah (sgt sedap tht i licked my fingers few times..want some more!) with acar. then we had roti jala with chicken curry too (thnk to hani for her roti jala punye acuan..). for dessert, sook fern prepared sagu with milk and honeydew (nice2). ice lemon tea for drink. kak lina brought a choc mud cake. its fantastic! will get one for myself next time.

really sorry to the guys..cannot invite u all laaa.

tired meh!!!

tonite got a meeting about next week's function..cook again~~~ but i like!! (^_^)

my first semester starts tomorrow. first lecture a.k.a FRS will start at 9.00am. and lectures will continue until 3.00pm. and only then i can rest...and solat zuhur. i'm gonna be just fine.. insyaALLAH (positive thinking...sedap hati)~

alrite! mau solat asar..

bye~~~ wish me luck babe!! >.<

awkwardly painful

2009-02-27T00:23:00.004+11:00

i was fine yesterday.totally fine. but tonight,right now, at this moment,suddenly the odd painful feeling which i myself hate, attack me.there're no exact word can be used to describe it. but maybe painful is the best. i hate it!! i feel vulnerable. feel like losing something. or someone... or maybe not. i miss something.or someone...

i can go through this

definitely can

be strong,support yourself

new life at the new place named newcastle....

2009-02-25T22:30:00.004+11:00

my journey by plane to sydney wasn't so bad. i thought that i would endure nausea or whatsoever. but no,i didn't feel anything.nothing at all.except for some frustations and disappointment of things that i myself wasn't sure what it is. maybe because i didn't have the chance to hug and kiss my family as much as i want. topsy turvy.

my arrival at sydney airport at 9.45am, 8th feb 2009 were welcomed by halved-boil temperature, 47 degrees. my skin hurts. mara officer was there. some seniors were there too. they're just too nice. too kind-hearted. too cool.

it seems like i'm able to get along with the taylors and others just fine. they're cool. make me feel like younger. no age barrier at all. none. and even with ex-kmb, we're fine. i never talk to most of them during my time in banting.

seniors are extremely nice,kind,funny,friendly and i love them all. within 2 weeks, we already had about 4-5 parties,just to welcome us to newy. they had helped us to find a beautiful house with a pool,they took us to shoppings,they cook for us,treat us with pizza and we had birthday parties. they organised 'amazing race' to help us recognize places and learn to travel.

food are fine. halal is quite easy to get. especially chicken. quite cheap here. but having chicken everyday aren't good.started to feel stuffed. i want fish. want fish so badly but the price is expensive.

campus or uni generally are forest.bushes everywhere. but unique, for sure. aussie are friendly and helpful. everytime i go shopping,and when i'm at the counter to pay for things, cashiers would greet you, "how's things going? "or "hai,how are you?" then when i'm about to leave, "have a g'day". nice~

what else? i'm missing my homecountry but i still can handle it. i miss the people....

too sleepy to continue this..so long peepss. (^_^)

not important

2009-02-16T14:39:00.003+11:00

tiada kisah menarik utk dihebohkan
tiada juga gmba hebat utk ditonjolkan

tunggu la yea..hohoooo ku buntu~~

to nana,yea2 nti ku emailkan...tak pindah umah lagi~~ hmmmm

at last

2009-02-07T18:41:00.002+11:00

Salam peeps..

i'm going off to newie tonite.

flight details: MH123
ETD: 2240
ETA: 0740

doakan ku
maafkan ku
kenang ku
syg kamu semua~~~

(^.^)

pre-interview

2009-01-31T23:55:00.005+11:00

on my way to MARA's HQ to return the agreement and other forms.was alone, reading NST. boring..no interesting news.suddenly,this one black guy said hi. was pretty surprised,but then i smiled. erk?! he sat on a bench next to mine. he started to talk, "is that english?". i looked around,wondered he said that to whom. no one but only me. so i replied,"yes,its english". then he said,"oh so then you must be able to speak in english...and bla bla bla...". he started a conversation. aduhhhh and i made this very-sweet-but-plastic face coz in my mind 'what's wrong with this guy?' . yet,i answered every questions he asked. "i'm calvin. what's your name?". can't think of any other name, so just tell him my real name, khusna. why didn't i say my name is lisa or anne or nana . and as i expected,he heard it wrongly. he pronounced my name as something like rusnah. hey!! that sounds very old and aged. i have a very simple sweet name.haisssh!! whatever. he said," i'm islamic. you're islamic too,right? coz you're wearing that". he pointed to my tudung. i just nodded. islamic?? he asked where am i going, where am i studying. and i was very stupid to tell him the real thing. "i'm not studying in UKM. m going to australia." stupid careless girl! somehow it attracted him to start a topic. "you know, in australia they won't allow you to wear that". again he referred to my tudung. "they're not familiar with it and they don't like it." i replied," no,they do familiar with this and i know they don't like it but they won't pull this off my head!". huhh full of confidence! he asked again," why you wear that? aren't you feel uncomfortable? do you wear it all the time? what would you feel if you don't wear it?". heyy i'm confused. he doesn't know about all this? i responded," well, first of all,its an obligation. you must have known about aurat,right? you're muslim,right?". he nodded as explained to him. " its a sin to show aurat to bla bla bla....definitely comfortable wearing this....only wear this when i'm going out of my house....will never take it off...bla bla bla." am i in the middle of inter-religions debate? he smiled and nodded as if fully understand with my answers. he started a new topic. what the? "what if you receive a very good offer to work in overseas? will you coming back to malaysia? and what if you fell in love with an australian man and he wants to marry you? you must want to stay with him, right? eh hello,what is wrong this guy?! i countered," about the job offer,i'll consider it. about marrying an australian man,that might be impossible!". no its definitely not possible!!....... train is coming,yayy! i stand up and walked away from him. terrified..horror!

in a way, i got few things from him:
-practice speaking....it gets very rusty
-get my brain to work and think!
-ignites a thought about....
-realize that i'm going to face a real challenging world out there
-need more knowledge...damn!!

a big relief when i handed in the agreements to kak Ja'a.
but still a big pressure when i dont know when is the flight
people keep asking me that question...tensi3!!

seat belt

2009-01-25T22:59:00.003+11:00

baru tadi tgk iklan hantu tercmpak keluar dari kereta. kelakar sgt!! hantu tu tercampak sebab x pakai seat belt ms 'menumpang' kereta sorg wanita ni. mak hantu tu (hantu jugak) marah la anak die, "kan aku kate pakai tali pinggang tempat duduk belakang!!". Siap kene lempang lagi. hahaaa mmg x tahan. jom gelak!!

smlm ade roadblock. cuak!! nasib baik pakai seatbelt. slalu mmg x pakai pon. huhhh nasib baik! cepat2 tgk cermin dpn. P ade,lesen pun ade. ingat da buleh lepas,jln je teros. Tetibe pak polis tu suruh berhenti. CUAK!!! alamak apehal lak ni??!...oooo nk tgk road tax. valid lagi. huhhhh berdebar sggh!! ok cool..mari teruskan perjalanan ke Mines.

balik dari beli buku di Kamal Bookstore. aduhhh sakit bahu! bongkok teros angkat 18 kg kt blkg (hiperbola je..tp mmg berat!). tggu bapak ambil kt ktm UKM tapi lambat sgt. X solat lagi nih. Mak suruh naik teksi je. Pakcik teksi sggh peramah tp x suke la. topik yang dibincangkan x menarik. jaja je la layan. tetibe die ckp, "pakcik lupe nk suruh kamu pakai seat belt kt belakang..". aku jwb,"pakcik x pakai pon". die jwb balik,"xpe,kalo kamu x pakai kamu yg kene saman.". benci betol sbb pakcik tu betol!

pegi jln dgn kawan. aku tny kawan,"ade RM400 x?". kwn jwb,"nape plak??". aku jwb, "kalau xde, sila pakai seatbelt!!" =P poyo.

selalunye diri sendiri pon x pakai seatbelt. leceh la kalau dkt2 pon nk pakai. tapi untuk keselamatan ape slhnye. kalau ingt baru pakai.hahaa

high school memory

2009-01-19T23:28:00.008+11:00

my high school alumni was held last weekend,on the 18th jan. i stayed overnite at school because got work to do..hamper-wrapping activities..... and chit chat-ing of course. the juniors were so polite and we're like ga-gaa hey adik-adik,u guys dont hv to treat us like this ok!!!! they even emptied a dorm and let us use it. and they slept on the floor,in study room. hahaa *whatever*.

activities hmmm was okay. got talk,meeting and everything. people came late.as predicted.
*hmmmm*

games was ok too.fun actually. i decided to be cool and just play and lets have fun. but suddenly, the mood to play and rock the day gone... *observing sounds better*

most of my friends were in different house. I was EPI,orange-color house. and they're green, BRASSI. i joined them and ignored my own house..hmmm i dont care~ *i wondered why cant i be in that house*

went into dining hall...and guess what,the smell is still the same!!! and i still couldn't withstand it. i used to tutup my nose or hold my breathe everytime i passed by the dining hall. bluekkksss!! it was clean,its just i cant stand the smell. *tp mkn lancar je...*

the best part of the whole event was... spent time with alyaa, the-girl-who-knows-almost-evrything-about-me. she's the secret keeper hahaa (^.^) talking and crapping and laughing about everything. we attacked hana,because she's so l*cah. hohohooo and 'pak cik kimi' will always be a hot topic for us.. hahahaa and we're even sms-ing on the bed,before we get to sleep. i got a new story, or maybe new complaint, to be more accurate, to tell her. but not exactly sending sms,its just i typed, and she read and then she typed her respond. *when can i do this again?*

next alumni,most probably i couldn't attend. and alyaa couldn't attend too....because i couldn't. hahaaa and maybe for the next 5 years, if they all decide to organize it in july.

BOSAN!!!

2009-01-16T02:23:00.004+11:00

aku rasa bosan SANGAT!!

rasa nak beli barang banyak-banyak tanpa tujuan

tapi tak boleh,jangan membazir!!

rasa nak makan banyak-banyak tanpa henti

tapi tak boleh,nafsu..nanti gemok susah!!

rasa nak nyanyi kuat-kuat dalam bilik

tapi tak boleh,jangan buang tebiat!!

rasa nak drive kereta jauh-jauh tanpa destinasi

tapi tak boleh,minyak mahal..tol lagi!!

rasa nak tengok TV lama-lama tanpa henti

tapi tak boleh,sakit hati,kusut tengok cerita tak bermutu!!

rasa nak tangkap gambar banyak-banyak dengan Ashh

tapi tak boleh,subjek kurang menarik,membosankan!!

rasa nak belasah orang cukup-cukup

tapi tak boleh,orang perempuan kene sopan santun!!

rasa nak tidur lama-lama tak payah bangun

tapi tak boleh,amalan tak cukup lagi!!

rasa nak berhenti mengarut sekarang juga

memang perlu pun.....

p/s: bab sopan santun tu mmg xtahan,xleh blahhh =P

tapi aku memang BOSAN!!!

Kuala Terengganu

2009-01-16T01:29:00.003+11:00

Akhir tahun 2008,MP Kuala Terengganu yg juga Timbalan Menteri Pelajaran, Datuk Razali telah kembali ke rahmatullah. Maka dengan itu,kerusi Parlimen Kuala Terengganu kosong. Pilihanraya kecil Parlimen Kuala Terengganu akan diadakan bagi memilih wakil rakyat kawasan yang mewakili Kuala Terengganu di Parlimen. Suruhanjaya Pilihanraya (SPR) memutuskan tarikh mengundi jatuh pada 17 Januari 2009 bersamaan hari Sabtu. Pihak-pihak atau pun parti-parti yang akan bertanding; tidak lain dan tidak bukan Barisan Nasional (BN), PAS, serta seorang calon bebas. Seperti PRU yang lalu,3 pihak ini juga yang bertanding merebut kerusi. Beberapa perkara yang 'menarik' telah berlaku;

1) Kempen pilihanraya yang sepatutnya HANYA boleh dilakukan SELEPAS penamaan calon, dalam tempoh 2 minggu sehingga hari mengundi, telah dimulakan sejak awal lagi. Kisah kempen dan memancing undi bukan dilakukan secara senyap-senyap tetapi diwar-warkan oleh media cetak mahupun elektronik.

Seolah-olah tiada kesalahan dalam prosedur pilihanraya yang sedang berlaku. Dan yang tambah menarik ialah SPR tidak sekali pun bersuara mahupun mengambil apa-apa tindakan. Dengan pengarah yang baru,setelah pengarah lama yang penuh kontroversi itu tamat kontrak,SPR masih sama. Tiada langsung perubahan yang ditunjukkan. TELUS & TULUS

2) 6000 anggota polis dan pegawai keselamatan telah diarahkan untuk bertugas di hari pengundian bagi menjaga keselamatan awam dan keamanan setempat. Pondok-pondok polis didirikan,pusat komunikasi turut disediakan,khemah-khemah penginapan untuk anggota keselamatan turut diadakan.

Tujuan,maksud dan peranan disebalik pengerahan 6000 polis dan anggota keselamatan bertugas adalah diragui. Seolah-olah ada penjenayah yang akan menyerang dan merompak peti undi,ataupun berbondong-bondong pengundi hantu yang akan datang. Ingin ditangkap ataupun dilindungi?. Ada artikel dalam Utusan bertajuk "Kenapa prejudis kehadiran polis?". ERKK??!

3)Calon bebas yang akan bertanding di pilihanraya tersebut mendapat inspirasi untuk bertanding daripada calon bebas PRU yang lalu, iaitu nenek berusia 70 tahun.

Tak nak komen banyak...

4) Pelbagai isu telah dibangkitkan sebagai modal untuk memancing undi. Dua pihak utama terutamanya. Isu wang royalti,tiada kemajuan di sesetengah kawasan, calon tiada dipercayai dan lain-lain.

Enough for now..this thought actually came out after i watched Buletin Utama,and read newspapers; Utusan and Berita Harian. Felt like wanna puke to read and hear all those crappss!! UWEKKKK~~ Feel sick!!

Saya sokong yang benar!! (^_^)

p/s: Ok dah,shut up! nk kene tarik balik scholarship ke?? =P

book review

2009-01-10T01:44:00.011+11:00

hello peeps!!!

i hd just finished reading this one novel titled "does my head look big in this?". its a story about an australian-palestinian-muslim girl who decided to be a full-timer of wearing hijab a.k.a tudung. her name is Amal. Does Amal prepared to face new phase of her life with the new image?? Will she be strong & survive or will she get weakened by other poeple perception & then back to be a so called free hair muslim?? her parents are palestinians, migrated to Australia couple of decades ago. This family of Abdel Hakim live in Melbourne. This whole novel tell stories about challenges that Amal had to faced as a Muslim teenager; reaction of her damn-strict principal when she confronted her about hijab issue (yet she allowed Amal to wear hijab), reaction of her lab partner- that-she-like-which-named Adam, her best-understanding-funky- crazy- friends like Simone and Eileen & the rest of her classmates (her classmate didn't even say hi to her for couple of days), reaction of her lost-of-identity uncle & aunt (they changed their names,drink liqour,eat ham,etc.), and bla bla bla.

In this novel, 3 groups of muslims were described by writer. 1) Amal n her family who practices Islam very decently,not extreme yet holding strong to religion. 2) Amal's uncle n his family who tried to change their identity n whatsoever on the basis of assimilation..refused to retain the Arabic identity. 3) Leila's mother (Amal's bestfriend) who might be missunderstood the teaching of Islam when she forced Leila to get married and didn't allow her to further study n be a lawyer. According to her, everything is bad influence,education isn't important and bla bla bla (which I myself will roars if i were in Leila's shoe, but thank goodness i'm not). eh tp ye ke i'll roar?? =p

Language: daily teenagers speech..relax, funny

hahaaaa i lost my words...i'm not good at describing things...example, like this laaaa~~

half way of typing all this..suddenly i feel reaaaally sleepy..and so continue later la,can or not??

try la to read this book,its nice and u'll get something girls!!!

nak tido!!!

tomorrow going out to buy new books to read... lalalalalalalalalaaaaa~~

(^_^)

wasting money again..haisssh!!

lone ranger journey

2009-01-07T14:23:00.003+11:00

going to PD

driving alone

duhhhhh

BORING!!!!

but i got ashh

LOLXX

and CD someone gave me

LOLXXXX

better get ready

petronas first

p/s: roomate is coming tomorrow~~

yay!!! ade rakan meronggeng =p

i miss u too

2009-01-06T21:11:00.004+11:00

she said she miss me
i miss you too
they said they miss me
i miss them too
and so
i went to her place
and so
i went to their place

honestly
i never thought
bond is exist
they appreciate me
i appreciate them too
and even more

its raining now
but no
i'm not gloomy as the day
brightly shine
when they still welcome me

*brightly shine because of cheese cake too...*

lalalalalalaaaaa~~~

SPECIAL ENTRY...

2009-01-01T01:12:00.004+11:00

special entry dedicated to T and fatin...

AShhh isn't a human lorrr
its a thing
a digital camera
tht i've just bought
therefore.......
there's no need to be jealous =p
or story anything
hohoWW!!!

JOM SNAP SNAP!!!!

dearest ASHH....

2008-12-30T04:51:00.005+11:00

to my dearest ashh..
i'll take care of you like i take care of myself
i'll give you my love like i give my love to my family

hohooooww!!

NO NEED TO BE OVER EMOTIONAL!!!

i'm just get too excited of getting new property...

a Canon Ixus

8.0 megapixels

has image stabilizer

2.5" screen

black & white casing

and bla bla blaaaa..

the most important feature is...it's DARK BROWN!!!

hahahaa its soo my fav colour!!

and i used my salary to buy it...(half of the price jerr =p)

another half,thanks to bapak!!! LOVE U... (^.^)

i went into this FOTOKEM shop cz they offered a cheaper price since i'll pay cash

but i ended up paying higher price bcz this man persuaded me to buy 4GB memory card + screen cover

and i was like 'yeah2,ok i'll take it...xkesah laaa'...apekah??!!

so,right now..i just cant take my hands off the cam

hahahaahhaa i snapped pics,more and more pics

(da lame x amek gamba..dulu kt kmb slalu laa huhuu)

btw,did anybody remember this tiny little plane???

it can no longer produce any sound =((

a motivational sound... (^_^)

adioss~!!

first in the family

2008-12-27T10:10:00.003+11:00

aiman's going
to national service
first in the family
abg amal didn't get it
kak dina didn't get it
abg muaz didn't get it
kak ya didn't get it
kak siti didn't get it
i didn't too
but she get it
hahaaaa
why huh??!
adakah kerana aiman anak angkat??!

lalalalalalalalaaaaaaa

=p

(family's jokes jer..she's definitely our flesh n blood sis)

to aiman: abes la ko legam nk amek result exam nti...

(eh,cm kenal ayat ini??...nana?) x) (^.^)

5 days to go..

2008-12-26T13:00:00.003+11:00

counting days
i have 5 days more...to work
i'll quit exactly on the 1st
thought of continue working
at least until mid january
but no need laaa
want to lepak2 di samping yg tersyg =p
have plans already
going here and there
with my bross (^.^)
wasting fuel and money..lalalalaaaa
plus i gonna get one more baby!!!
yay!!!!! new nephewww... gagagaaa
n school's alumni too
(committee member must attend..*sigh*)
and jealous cz aiman got new hp
i wnt new hp toooo!!!!!!

enough time already..wrap!!! nk breakfast

p/s: this morning at 5.58 am, i received text msg from a friend,sent all the way from UK. really glad tht u guys remember me...but don't ask such questions laa!! i was like WHAT THE..??!! =p its not like what u guys think laa~

adiosss

God knows everything...

2008-12-19T23:31:00.008+11:00

Allah Knows

By Zain Bhika and Dawud Wharnsby Ali

When you feel all alone in this world

And theres nobody to count your tears

Just remember no matter where you are

Allah knows, Allah knows.

When youre carrying a monster load

And you wonder how far you can go

With every step on that road you take

Allah knows, Allah knows.

Chorus:

(Cause) No matter what, inside or out

Theres one thing of which theres no doubt

Allah knows, Allah knows.

And whatever lies in the heavens and the Earth

Every star in this whole universe

Allah knows, Allah knows.

When you find that special someone

Feel your whole life has barely begun

You can walk on the moon shout it to everyone

Allah knows, Allah knows.

When you gaze with love in your eyes

Catch your glimpse of paradise

And you see your child take the first breath of life

Allah knows, Allah knows.

Chorus

When you lose someone close to your heart

See your whole world fall apart

And you try to go on but it seems so hard

Allah knows, Allah knows.

See we all have a path to choose

Through the valleys and hills we go

With the ups and the downs never fret never frown

Allah knows, Allah knows.

Chorus 2x

Every grain of sands in every desert plants

He knows

Every sheet of palm, every closed hand

He knows

Every sparkling tear on every eye lash

He knows

Every thought I had and every word I share

He knows

Allah knows

p/s:somehow i found this song relaxing,comforting and consoling yet 'warning'..~

no motive...no subject

2008-12-16T00:35:00.005+11:00

lalalalalaaaa....

whateverrrr....

hate!!!!...

shut up!!!...

bluekkkkks..~

I DON'T CARE!!!!

and don't wanna care...

Apabila orang berkata...

2008-12-09T23:47:00.006+11:00

Orang ckp cinta itu manis..sedap...dan bahagia. Tapi menyakitkan..memedihkan..dan membahayakan~ (mawar berduri..)

Orang selalu kata 'cinta itu buta'..tapi betulkah? Atau orang yang menikmati rasa cinta itu yang sengaja membutakn mata,hati dan fikiran? (buta mata,buta hati,buta tuli..)

Orang cakap jangan takut menerima,memberi dan menikmati cinta...tapi perlu sedia menghadapi pelbagai cabaran~ (kalau takut dilanda badai,jangan berumah di tepi pantai..)

Orang beritahu, cuba dulu baru tahu bagaimana rasanya bercinta~ ( kalau tak dipecahkan ruyung, mana kan dapat sagunya..)

Orang kata bercinta itu perlu supaya dapat kenal si dia lebih baik..supaya tak menyesal nanti~ (hidup suatu perjudian)

Lately, i keep thinking about this matter.just thinking. no specific reason. (do have actually..). I always thought that i will never care about this matter. not until the suitable time comes. or the suitable guy appear (lalalalaaa =p..~).

Sesiapa ada buah fikiran utk isu cinta & kasih syg ni (heeee agak menggelikan di sini),sila tinggalkan komen utk entry ini..ok??!! huhuuu

hey buddiesssss!!~

2008-12-05T02:51:00.005+11:00

over excited..expressing my happiness,spent real quality time with my lovers..heeee~

last time,went to sg congkak..and pics are sooo cannot be posted here....daaaa

laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh again...awww my cheek's muscle hurts

never get bored with these buddiess...gonna miss u guys soooo badly~sobssss

friendship never dies....kenduri kahwin nti tggu aku tau!!!

MAY ALLAH BLESS OUR FRIENDSHIP AND IT REMAINS STRONG UNTIL THE END OF TIME~

sekilas pandang...

2008-11-28T12:07:00.004+11:00

Tahun 2005,kita dikejutkan dgn berita 'Kerajaan Langit' pimpinan Ayah Pin yg berpengkalan di Besut,Terengganu. Pengikut-pengikut ajaran sesat ini telah ditangkap dan disiasat. Tetapi Ayah Pin berjaya melarikn diri. 3 tahun menghilang dan dikatakn menetap di Thailand. Selama itu juga dia menjadi buruan polis & Jbtn Hal Ehwal Agama T'ganu (JHEAT). Kini, Ayah Pin muncul kembali dan balik ke kampung halaman. Tapi tiada langsung tindakan segera atau inisiatif utk menahan dia sedangkn dia sudah diburu selama 3 tahun. Exco kerajaan negeri bhgian hal ehwal agama berkata, Ayah Pin bukan lagi ancaman kpd masyarakat dan agama. (nk tggu ade 'Kerajaan Bawah Tanah pulak ke??)

Buletin Utama di TV3 setiap mlm akan menyiarkan berita tentang pencalonan UMNO yg sedang giat berlangsung,kini dah tamat pun. Pelbagai cerita disiarkn,dari yg baik hinggalah tentang perebutan kuasa. Pencalonan utk jawatan Timbalan Presiden, Ketua Pemuda dan Ketua Wanita lah yang paling hangat. Dalam satu-satu siaran Buletin Utama,boleh dikatakn tidak kurang drpd 4 laporan mengenai parti ini disiarkan. (ni Buletin Utama ke Buletin Umno???)

PRU yg lalu,BN kalah teruk. Pak Lah teruk juga disalahkan. Ada yang mendesak agar dia bersara,berhenti jadi PM. Ganti Najib saja. Tidak lama kemudian,ada yg minta pelan peralihan dipercepatkn. Ada pemimpin parti yang berbincang dgn bekas PM, mendesak Pak Lah berundur. Rafidah Aziz turut sama minta Pak Lah bersara. Tak fikir langsung perasaan Pak Lah apabila orang-orangnya sendiri minta dia berhenti. Sekarang dlm pencalonan utk menjadi Ketua Wanita, marah betul Rafidah bila Shahrizat ambil keputusan utk bertanding jwtn Ketua Wanita sekaligus ingkar pelan peralihan yang telah dipersetujui dulu. Katanya,Shahrizat naib yang tidak setia. (haaaii sakitkan bila org buat kita?? kalo buat org mmg sedap je...)

2 kumpulan berkumpul utk berdemontrasi tentang ISA. Satu pro,satu lagi anti. Yang pro berdemo siang hari, dan yang anti berdemo malamnye pada hari yang sama. Yang pro kumpulannya kecil tp menjerit,mencaci bukan melayu yang lalu disitu. Yang anti kumpulannya besar,disertai NGO,parti politik. Polis hadir dikedua-dua demonstrasi. Tapi yang pro,polis relaks je. Nasihat cara lembut. Tapi yang anti,ramai sungguh polis dikerah utk membelasah peserta-peserta demo. (haiiii pilih kasih nmpak...)

Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan telah mengharamkn perlakuan/gejala pengkid. Bnyk respon yang diterima. Malahan ada yang membantah. Tapi yang membantah tu non-muslim. Hairan sggh,mereka melaungkan "Short hair,who care?? Stupid fatwa everywhere!!".. (who's the real stupid?? that fatwa isn't meant for you guys..)

Razak Baginda telah dibebaskan. Dia buat press conference,menjelaskn sesuatu; DS Najib & DS Rosmah tidak langsung ada kaitan dgn Alyantunya. Langsung tak pernah berjumpa. Jgan kaitkan lagi. No more speculations. Ada terdengar pakcik ni cakap,"Dia pulak jadi hakim,nak cakap org ni x bersalah." Dalam press conference, Razak bila ditanya mana dia tahu hal tersebut,terdiam dan terpaku dia sebelum kembali sedar dan menjawab," Saya tahu..saya tahu..". (kes berprofil tinggi..)

Maaf lah kalau kedengaran agak berat sebelah,tak bermaksud pun. Cuma bila baca newspaper, terlintas pulak fikiran-fikiran ini...

give me a break...

2008-11-26T00:40:00.006+11:00

i spent most of my time right now at the clinic..at least 8 hours EVERYDAY,tiring..and its NOT a lie. really tiring..i enjoyed my work very much,but PLEASE give me a break..m not complaining,but yeah i WANT to stay on bed,one WHOLE day...can i? hahaa but the thing is,i am the one who chose to work at the clinic. thought of getting EXPERIENCES, learn new things from doctor,drive my BRAIN work out after very long holiday but now...kinda tired.and lately my mood kinda swung like swing.up down up down.and to my colleagues,i just told them that my stomach masuk angin... YEAH RIGHT,my heart is the problem actually.and even today, when i kept my mouth shut,they thought that i got stomach ache..again.HONESTLY,frankly speaking..offering services are EXTREMELY challenging..or maybe it put your patience at test,and my patience level gets lower and lower everyday. or maybe higher and higher. have to face patients whose UNBELIEVABLY irritating, INTOLERANT....and egoistic..arrogant... as if we are SERVANTS,only ought to serve them..follow every order. not tolerate at all... "sy nk masuk jumpe dentist hari ni jugak sebab nk pergi oversea.." like i DON'T have other work to do but to settle your problem. not to mention people whose really SELF-ABSORBED..."sy ade doktor tau.ingt senang ke nk dpt doktor?!".. huh!!! like i CARE...nevertheless,i shall be thankful..and grateful that people with POLITENESS,consideration,courteousy (can anybody correct the spelling for me?)..and whatsoever still EXIST..and they make my days BRIGHT again. i don't ask much,just a HELLO at the counter and a THANK YOU before you leave. suddenly feel SICK...let leave this,and i need REST...hope tomorrow will be BETTER than today...be STRONG girl!!!!! u gonna face far MORE challenging..depressing..heart-wrecking WORLD. this is just like a PINCH on your hand,not a slap on your cheek....be tough!!!!

p/s: just wanna share this...no matter what kind of specialty u,my friends, gonna take.. cardiology,oncology,ENT,O&G and whatsoever..u gonna be as BUSY as hell (and i think u already knew that,isn't it)... because even GP don't have much time for themselves. EVERY seconds is dedicated for other people..are YOU ready??? am I ready???

i don't know....i'm not sure...maybe i am,or maybe i'm not yet~

night shift

2008-11-22T12:54:00.005+11:00

last week,saturday, worked night shift..supposedly, only work during day but got to go to do check ups for visa..need to do it a.s.a.p..went to the mall,uni-med clinic..the only clinic tht able to do the check ups during weekends.other clinic dont want,doctor's not available n bla bla bla..

let see,i arrived so early tht the mall haven't open yet...hish wat de?!! yet,thnk god tht novel was in my bag..

then went to bangunan DBKL,to do xray.... and again huhhhh very 'lucky' to have this Sabah man inside the xray room and tell me to take off my clothes and everything....damn,embarrassing!!!!

and that clinic were like jammed with banglas... aiyoyoyoyoooo...

entered SOGO just to see all this 'SALES' and 'LESS 30%' tags evrywhere...frustrated though,don't have money..... =( want new jeans...sobs~

haaaaaaaa great day for me....

(hmm didn't converse n write in english for quite sometimes,feel like dummy. even now....numb and dumb)

and today,work night shift again...cz wnt to hang out with best buddies (at nik's brother wedding) hahahaa whatever..as long as i get to laugh and gossiping with the girls...

GTG...need to wash my car,dirty with mud and cat's footprints...
(since when it become my car??!)...hahaaa

for DYLASHAM jugak...

2008-11-17T23:31:00.003+11:00

emm feels like wanna add up more things to the lists,especially the food list..heeee.
another 10 most favorite foods are:

bubur kacang hijau
biskut jacobs+cheese+jem
apam tepung beras
ulam
ayam goreng rempah
jangan lombok
sambal taun
kerabu sayur celur
pecal
cendol pulut

can i add another 10 x???

haissssh stop it!!..the thing is,since i started working at the clinic,my appetite changed,like booom suddenly wanna chew things all the time! and yeah,my weight pon of course la increase...but so far, xbnyk pon...yet,i feel like haiissh wht's wrong hah???

ok la,just go on with your life..small things je.mkn je,it's your rezeki what..nti kempunan, baru padan muke..bluekss~

for DYLASHAM

2008-11-13T01:33:00.003+11:00

My Top 10 Most Favorite Food:
1)keli goreng garing
2)nasi lemak lauk sambal paru
3)nasi kerabu psr mlm akak yg gebu tu
4)mee rebus/jawa mak buat
5)kerang rebus cicah sambal kicap
6)spagetti kak mas buat
7)mee bandung mak buat
8)cheesecake secret recipe
9)tomyam seafood mak buat
10)cheeseburger mcdonald

Top 5 Things I Love Doing :
1)sleeping!
2)novel-ing
3)korek muke..haissh buruk perangai
4)driving
5)cooking

3 Things I Love Doing When Im EMO :
1)silent
2)listen to radio
3)stay in bedroom

Top 5 Types of Guys I Adore:
1) erk
2)ntah
3)xpasti
4)jap eh
5)let me think

5 Things I Love Doing When Im Happy:
1) smile n txt messaging friends to tell them i'm happy..(my sisters always say "kau apehal senyum2?"..jeles la dorg tu)
2)menempel kt mak
3)berangan
4)gurauan senda ngn family
5)eat!!..hmm sedap2

5 Things I Wish To Happen:
1)no dilemma!!!!
2)time please stop now!!
3)everything is free..xyah byr ape2
4)my brain can be store info forever
5)saya rajin belajar....

My Top 5 Most Addicted Song:
1)lovebug-jonasbrothers
2)fall for you-secondhand serenade
3)i'm yours-jason mraz
4)when you looked me in the eyes-jonasbrothers
5)lagu tema cerita indon 'intan'..xingat tajuk dong

People I Wish To Tag :
1)exclass rep
2)exdeskmate

(^.^)

care,though silly...

2008-11-06T00:33:00.004+11:00

ain't feel right

like it,enjoy it

feel happy bout it

yet confused,unsure

can't turn back

or can??

can't stop

afraid to hurt

but feel the pain

in the chest

again,and again

its absurd

againts standpoint

guilty,hating

ponder,and ponder

again

find no answer

still,drowning

in dilemma

weirdooo

just let it be

don't worry

deserved it

tried,and tried

to believe

yet back to zero

still in dilemma

jammed in brain

stucked,no breathe

Allah lebih mengetahui...

2008-11-02T21:44:00.004+11:00

Tentang rezeki...
Jangan pernah mengeluh jika yang lain mendpt lebih.
Redha dan terima dengan hati terbuka adalah yg paling baik.
Ujian utk setiap insan.

Tentang ilmu...
Carilah sebanyk mana yang boleh.
Tapi mintalah agar dihalalkn ilmu tu agar kekal.
Aplikasi sebanyaknya di jalan yg sepatutnya.

Tentang jodoh...
Jika mahu,pelihara hubungan sebaiknya.
Masa akan menentukan.

Tentang mati....
Ingatkn diri setiap hari.
Siapkn diri sebelum terlambat.

Al-Fatihah kepada Allahyarham atuk dia yg telah kembali ke rahmatullah semalam.
Semoga ditempatkn bersama-sama orang yg beriman.
InsyaALLAH...
Semoga dia & keluarganya tabah.

Tentang masa depan...
Berpegang padaNYA.
InsyaALLAH selamat.
Kerana kita tak tahu tentang esok.

p/s: mak sgt risau bile ade student malaysia hilang kt perth....

DAY #5

2008-10-27T22:38:00.003+11:00

working at the clinic,so far give me a real great experience...no regret (so far..) n i hope never..
those sisters are very kind (walaupun agak outspoken..sgt sbnrnye) i learned a lot. da ingt sikit2 tempat ubat..pil mane utk sakit ape..yg penting,mesti baca prescription doktor dgn betol because one name but different kinds. e.g;

Benadryll adult(black) or child (red) utk cough.
Cloxacillin 250 granule or tablet or 500 capsule. its antibiotic.
PCM syrup orange or pink (child) or tablet(adult). for fever.
MMT liquid or tablet(name lain ialah stemetil...eh ke lomotil??). utk angin.
Atenolol 50 or 100 utk darah tinggi.
Piriton syrup or tablet (name kt botol ialah allersin). utk selesema. yg tablet ade piriton or piriton LA.
Vasograne for headache.
Troches for sore throat.mesti hisap.
Zecuf syrup for cough.
Ventolin for phlegm.
Caffox 5 or 10 for migrain.
Ponstant syrup (child) or tablet (adult). its a painkiller.

and ecetera.....

kebetulan hari ni ade patient smlm dtg utk tukar dressing. He's an indian,jari terluka ms potong kambing. He was so afraid to let doctor stich up the wound. So balut je la mcm biasa.Maka, dpt la blajar cuci luka dan tukar dressing. Hmm boleh tahan..x susah sgt pun.Thanks kak mas!!

2 days ago,computer breakdown. file corrupt.so system unable to be used. maka everything kene manual,write down evrything. yg paling mencabar & best ialah masa nk sediakn ubat, got to read the doctor's hndwriting. WOW!!!! vry complicated. it's like evry alphabet fused together. tp dpt la recognize sikit2. the bright side is dpt belajar baca symbol. 'tds' utk 3 times/day. 'bds' for 2times/day. 'OM' for only morning. 'ON' for only night. and etc......

p/s: well i know agak boring..tp i really enjoy it. n yang paling klakar ialah "...nti da jd doktor,jgn lupe bg no tel tau.boleh jd doktor ganti kt sini..". hahaaaa insyaALLAH. support from people whose barely know me.

DAY #1

2008-10-23T22:57:00.004+11:00

1. sampai 7.55a.m,tp...(klinik x bukak lagi,cmne nak masuk??).pdhal masuk ikut pintu tepi..hmm

2. pesakit pertama, isteri seorang doktor yg mempunyai klinik sendiri..(how irony~)

3. pesakit-pesakit lain mula dtg dan memenuhi ruang menunggu,slps didaftar..(all is computerized which make things easier..)

4. sediakn ubat utk patients; PCM(demam),prostant(tahan sakit), glavol(muntah), kaolin,celest,buscapon,thymol gravel(cuci luka),piritin(selsema), dexa,ORS,tamsolo,zercuf(batuk),(fuuuhh very confusing,very unfamiliar names..but THANK GOD tht doctor didn't wrote down the prescription,jst sent to counter via computer...almaklum la, tulisan doktor sgt 'cantik').

5. tulis MC, resit...(kene isi semua,kalau x akn diedit sendiri oleh patients..)

6. ambil bayaran...(sum up correctly..i already made one mistake,haisssh *sigh*)

7.no rest time..even during lunch hours,patients came like stream & my lunch was delayed. (nasib baik x lapar,xkesah pun x mkn..).

8.answered phone calls...("hello assamualaikum,poliklinik al-haj,boleh saya bantu??....").

9.appointment dentist...(received many calls,but.."maaf puan,appoinmnt full smpai 30 hr bulan..").

10.very cold,working in air-conditioned place...(sdg selsema,maka bertambah terok la..aduhaiii.tp dpt ubat free,hahaaaa)

11.colleagues are fine,ramah n sedia mengajar; kak mira & kak nik...(tp sgt laju buat keje,hahh daku tercungap..~).

12. sampai petang,patients dtg dgn banyknye...(no wonder people say clinic is money-making machine...hmm)

13. bnyk doktor..pemilik ialah adik beradik,sorg GP n lagi satu dentist...isteri GP juga ialah doktor, turut membantu tp masih kerja ngn kerajaan kerana mahu jd specialist...ada jugak doktor yg buat locum,weekends atau malam...(waaaaa,adik beradik doktor...fuhhh~)

14. mak & bapak said,"keje elok2..". kak mas sent SMS,"..keje elok2 jugak..". and he sent SMS,"..selamat bekerja..". =p

mission for tomorrow: ingat ubat kt rak mana & utk ape....MESTI!!!~

peace to all..hahaaa stop crapping~cheers

please be nice to me..~

2008-10-21T15:46:00.007+11:00

hellooo sir..
i'm a new driver
please be nice to me
i'm nervous
i'm sweating
please don't honk at me
i'm struggling
i'm learning
please be nice to me
i'm trying
i'm making an effort
to build up confidence
please don't push me
i'm scared
i'm a new driver
please be nice to me

p/s: jadilah pengguna jln raya yg berhemah & bertoleransi...peace (^.^)

HARRY POTTER and THE GIRL-WHO-SHOULD-NOT-BE-NAMED...

2008-10-17T23:45:00.015+11:00

no hidden msg behind the title,promise..it is about harry potter...and me.i'm the girl!! ( hmm whatever n stop crapping). i like to watch movie,any kind of movies.from the great box-office one to cheap-stupid-scary movie-liked movies..(but the truth is,i only watched SCARY MOVIE once,which was definitely not scary at all..feel like wanna puke,yuckkkks~) ok,but tht is not the point. the thing is,harry potter's movies is one of my favourite. n guess what,third harry potter movie (HP & The Prisoner of Azkaban) was the first movie i watched at cinema,i was in form 4 at tht time, i guess.my sis-in-law brought me to watch it at terminal-1 (is it?? in seremban definitely). well,i'm perfectly aware n there's no doubt tht magic is soooo not real n tahyul. but,its just the matter of creativity and imagination. it's not like i will believe there's Hogwarts out there, somewhere in UK (anyone in UK,cn you confirm tht??) heee joking. i always thought tht i only love to watch the movie n not read the book. well,the thickness of the book alone can make me faint (huh exaggerating).no way tht i'll read tht n my imagination is not very impressive which makes the story dull. but,i was wrong. TOTALLY.

long holiday after IB,i spend most of my time reading. n now still. i read harry potter n other books as well.those are my sister's.she's in UK now,n she like books very much. She gave few novels of hers to me n Aiman,so tht we can read it. including Harry Potters. i started to read 'Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire'. well,in short..reading the book is far more interesting and overwhelming rather thn watch the movie. it stimulates more feeling when Harry missed his parents.Jokes made by Fred n George,damn funny,i like the twins very much. Weasleys are great family,seriously. Snape,Malfoys,Umbridge really infuriating. i hate when Harry lose his temper. i hate when Hermione argued so much. i fancied the calmness of Dumbledore. really amusing to imagine Sirius Black, Remus Lupin n James Potter together.i kinda addicted to it.after finished with the fourth book,i continue to read the fifth;'Harry Potter & The Order of Pheonix' where Harry formed DA a.k.a Dumbledore's Army, Order of Pheonix settled at number twelve Grimmauld Place.Harry got into Ministry of Magic n met Voldemort,Sirius was killed by his cousin,Bellatrix Lestrange,to save Harry. and then 'Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince' where Harry suddenly become a brainy in potion because of potion book tht belongs to 'a half-blood prince' n the prince apparently is Prof. Severus Snape who teach Potion in Hogwarts.Harry travelled into Dumbledore's memory to learn more about Voldemort.Harry become the captain of Quidditch for Griffyndor and then fall in love with Ginny,while Ron n Hermione like each other n Dumbledore was killed by Snape.. (m i too obsess with this story??maybe)... recently,i bought the last book of the series;'Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows' using my duit raya (n other new books too). Harry,Ron n Hermione took a tour around UK to search for Horcruxes of Voldemort. By destroying the Horcruxes, Harry will be able to defeat Dark Lord,exactly like wht Dumbledore has planned before he died. this time,many secrets revealed.Prof Snape,who is known to be the most loyal servant of Voldemort,is actually Dumbledore's man. the best part of this book is when Harry duelling with Voldemort. Harry tells evrything to Voldemort n he seems stupid,not know anything,fooled by people surroundings. (Haissssh villain always defeated..serve you right!!). i cant help myself to stop reading it. cant wait to know what are the secrets tht lies in the story. Full of adventures,tension,joy,surprises,situation are explained very well, n i'd say JK Rowling totally got the brain. the story isn't just for kids.there's value inside it tht grown up should read. Never expect to be told about evrything,get some times n try yourself. dont underestimate others. value evry deeds n say no evil,etc. i'm glad Voldemort died at the end. huhhh what a relief...(as if he really exist?!! daaa).

i always enjoy reading but it always depending on my mood n the material.well now,i'm not busy at all, apparently do nothing at the time so i hv plenty of time to read. i try to make reading as a habit. and now,wherever i go, i make sure tht there's a book in my bag so tht i hv thing to read while waiting for trains...or someone.

shortly before i bought the final book of Harry Potter,i hd just finished reading this novel;'to kill a mockingbird' by Harper Lee. a nice story,many values inserted but not as much as in 'tuesdays with morrie'. a story about a respcted lawyer,Mr Atticus Finch,a white man who decided to defend an innocent black man, Tom Robinson from raping charge. Along the way,his life together with his son n daughter, Jem n Scout, give lessons to the reader. it is said tht killing a mockingbird is sinful because the bird nvr do harm,yet a charming one,making beautiful sounds every morning. Its a metaphore. Tom is innocent,yet he was charged guilty n sentenced to death by electric chair because he's black. but he was shot to death when tried to escape from jail. poor man. quite sad story. Warning!! this story develope too slow to reach its real meaning,nevertheless it's worth to read it.

p/s: right now,i'm reading 'the memory keeper's daughter'. details later.

cheers~tataaa